When you negotiate, what do you fear? Do you see the value in fear and construct a plan to combat it? Even those that would be king can be susceptible to fear, but fear serves a purpose in our lives. Thus, when negotiating it behooves you to recognize the fears that may exist, but it also behooves you to put plans in place to combat them. By doing so, you’ll alleviate fear and replace it with negotiation strategies to lead you to a successful negotiation outcome.

Sometimes we’re more fearful of situations than we should be because of related memories we have to the current situation, related to what’s occurred to us in the past. To combat fear in your negotiations more effectively consider the following ideas.

1. First take note of your physical body and mind. I started with this factor because it plays an important role in how you perceive and combat fear. Realize, when you’re tiered, bogged down by and with thoughts that don’t serve you, you’re more susceptible to falling prey to fear. Make sure you can think properly by having the proper amount of rest and nutrients to do so.
2. Identify the source of your fear as it relates to the negotiation. Are you afraid you won’t come out ahead? Do you think the opposing negotiator is stronger in resources and/or expertise? Do you feel there’s not enough time to negotiate? Whatever your source of fear, identify it. By doing so you’ll have a point of knowing what’s at the source of your feelings. Then you can create a plan to address it.
3. Once you’ve identified the source(s) of your fear, consider how you can use it as a source of motivation. Fear will only have a debilitating influence to the degree you allow it to.
4. During the planning stages of your negotiation address the what-if scenarios from which fear may lurk. Allow it to emerge. Not only will doing so prepare you for possible deviations you may have to address and/or take during the negotiation, it will also prepare you for such occurrences. That should serve to alleviate the tension causing the fear.
5. At the end of the negotiation, assess what occurred related to the fear you had going into the negotiation. Were the issues that initially caused you consternation raised? If so, how did you address them? Were You more prepared to do so as the result of planning for them during the planning stage of the negotiation? By assessing what did and did not occur, you can use the thought process that you engaged in prior to, during, and after the negotiation to be your guide when fear crops up again in future negotiations.

Understand that fear is a protection or debilitating factor in our lives. Thus, it’s what you do with fear that determines what influence it’ll have on you. If you use fear to motivate you to pursue the direction that puts you on the path to a successful negotiation outcome, you will have used it wisely. Be aware of the potential it has to debilitate you and control it. Once you reconcile the role of fear you’ll have the yin and yang of it under control and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

One indicator of spiritual maturity is how we deal with trials. With cogent though jarring eloquence James says,

My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4 NRSV)

There is something in James’s imperative that resonates with any believer who has embarked with enduring perseverance on their trials. Pastoral care can be seen as a coming alongside, much as we imagine the paralete does, where persons we journey with are warned, taught, and ultimately, presented: every person! Colossians 1:28 calls us to evangelise every person, to educate every person, and to edify every person. We are to reach out to everyone, help them know God’s truths, speaking into their lives. We are called to a life not of self-pity, but of self-scrutiny of motive-especially of service.

We can know, in the final analysis, that the example of the cross is our way toward experiencing the resurrection life of Jesus. This embodies our teaching and our example. And, within the cross-beared life, it is also fundamental that the mature are Spirit-filled persons. The mature person will soon be asked to lead if they are not already. Only Spirit-filled people should lead Christ’s church. Hence, being spiritually mature and Spirit-filled ought to be thought of mutually inclusive. And there will be the fruit of love in the Spirit-filled, spiritually mature person; a love that insists not on thinking about love, but on acting in loving ways. There, I find, an elegant yet unsophisticated simplicity in love. There is no wiggle room. The surrendered soul acts simply as God intends. It is obedience without thought. To be presented perfect on the final day is to approach life now so as to enter through the narrow gate of Matthew 7:13-14, now! Acting as if time is up, we strive more for the Kingdom, more and more. Our striving ought to be to the allegiance of Christ and his teaching, of perfection and imitation of the Father, notwithstanding its seeming unattainability.

The Greek teleios aligns perfection with completion with full development, or to be unblemished and whole. And that is God’s will for us all: that the pastoral care we might all benefit from would take us further on the trajectory of discipleship; further, and onward, unto perfection.

There is incredibly great value in living the spiritual life. When we order our private world, we stand to gain the prize of life that God is ever calling us to. The pastoral care function is primary and basic in delivering persons to the deeper experience of the spiritual life. I see that pastoral care and discipleship are interwoven processes aiming toward the end of maturation, where we may all be presented perfect in Christ.

© 2015 S. J. Wickham.

Do you know that by doing your Christmas shopping early, you save money and there will be less stress on your health? Maybe you are thinking that by shopping closer to Christmas may help you to save money. According to studies, you actually become more panicky and spend more and experience more stress. As a result, you could not really enjoy the holiday. Here are some points you may want to consider as to why you should start shopping early.

- By starting your Christmas shopping early, it gives you sufficient time to budget your gift-giving list and have a clear idea how much you will be spending. At the same time, you are constantly looking out for gifts while you are doing your regular shopping. Thus, you have more time to pick up better gifts for your recipients.

- Very often, last-minute shopping will result in you over-spending because you are short of time and are desperate to buy a gift. Waiting until the last minute will not bring you cheaper gifts and you may actually pay more for the gifts or miss someone out from your gift list.

- Looking out for online bargains from eBay and merchants’ websites can help you to save. By starting early, you can spend time to find bargains from the Internet and enjoy cheaper or free shipping instead of paying more for rush delivery.

- Giving Christmas presents is meant to be a happy, warm and well-thought gesture and it is not the result of last-minute panic purchase. Most people do not want a gift that is purchased just for the sake of “giving”. By starting early, you have the time to think through what to buy for your recipients and come up with a better gift list.

- If you are mailing Christmas gifts to friends or family, it is a good idea to mail them early so that you are assured that your gifts will reach them on time for Christmas.

Once you have completed your Christmas shopping early, you can definitely have the time to relax and enjoy the holidays with your loved ones without having any shopping stress.