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The intent of this article is to highlight the negotiation tactics used by Donald Trump. It doesn’t pass judgment on the man.

Some have called Donald Trump a negotiator’s negotiator when it comes to the art of the deal. Many have sought to emulate his tactics, but upon examination, one might be cautious to do so. That’s because one needs the resources that Mr. Trump has to sustain the type of negotiation ploys he employs. Take as an example the following…

Stating verifiable truths as untruths:

It’s very difficult to negotiate with someone that offers alternative facts to reality when making offers and counteroffers that you and they make. It’s akin to being in an environment where up is down, out is in, and right is wrong. Through such mental maneuverings, Mr. Trump leaves an opposing negotiator in a state of doubt per the direction to take in a negotiation.

I never promised you a rose garden:

Mr. Trump makes promises that are too good to believe at times. Then, some of those promises never become reality. At times, he has a way of telling people what they want to hear, what they want to believe. A negotiator that does not follow through on promises will lose his believability eventually. From there, he’ll lose the trust of those with whom he negotiates.

Using Bullying Tactics:

Just because you’re big doesn’t mean you should take advantage of people. Mr. Trump has boasted in the past about his ability to use other people’s money and resources to put deals together. Then, if the deal doesn’t bear fruit, he walks away leaving others holding the bag. If you acquire a reputation as a negotiator of leaving others holding the bag when troubles occur, they’ll avoid negotiating with you and you’ll miss potential opportunities that would have otherwise availed themselves. Always be mindful of how you treat the smallest and largest of people.

Danger:

When you lie, perceived to be unfair, and you leave some people feeling you don’t value them, eventually it’ll catch up with you. There will come a time when someone that negotiates tougher than you will seek to slay your negotiation efforts. They may do so as payback for the reputation you’ve established as being a ruthless negotiator, or simply to take your crown.

Agony:

The inherent agony in the way Mr. Trump negotiates is encased in his brand. That’s to say, he’s massaged his brand to a point that some people see him as a savior based on what his perceived accomplishments have been in business. They transfer those perceived skills as being viable in other realms of life (i.e. the presidency). The lesson to be observed from this dilemma is, you should negotiate with those that are more disposed to your influence than those that are not. By doing so, you stand a better chance of achieving more successful negotiation outcomes.

In your negotiations, be cautious when employing the strategies that Mr. Trump employs. He can get away with some of them, for now, because of who he is and the resources he has. You’re not him. So, if you’re wise, you won’t try these tactics at home or anywhere else. By not doing so… everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

We’ve all had those times when we give our lover a romantic gift that we think that they will adore only to have to it fall flat. When this happens neither the giver nor the recipient is happy. Sometimes both become filled with resentment with the giver feeling unappreciated and the recipient feeling like the giver did not care enough to choose something really special. A unique romantic gift can signify that the giver fully understands and embraces the recipient’s passions.

The best way to choose a gift is to understand the person for whom we are buying. If your lover likes spa treatments but would never buy one for them self, that would be the perfect gift. If your lover is a greenie who tries to recycle and minimize waste but still likes luxurious things then an organic gift basket or even jewelry made of conflict free gems and ecofriendly metals may strike a chord. If your lover is a sports fanatic who goes to all the season games then a special present that encompasses either team or sports would work.

An alternative is to build the gift around a special day in your relationship like the day you met, the day you got married or some other special day. For example, the day she cried on your shoulder when her cat died would be an opportunity to give a unique romantic gift that she will treasure always. Get her a Cat charm bracelet or pendant with the name of her lost pet engraved would have her tearing up as she thinks how you really get her. If you met him when he rode to your rescue like a knight in shining armor, or if you just call him your hero, you can get him superhero cufflinks and lapel pins that will put an extra bounce in his steps as he goes to work with your secret unique romantic gift on his cuffs.

How about giving something that she always wanted or something that he never would have thought of getting himself. If she’s an avid romance or fiction reader, a kindle or book of love sonnets would work. If he loves the latest gadgets and seems to have it all, how about a charger pad that gives him a place to store them and charge them all at the same time?

There are so many occasions to find the perfect gift that if you just think of your special someone’s personality, a special day, anniversary, how you met, etc you will be sure to find that unique romantic gift that will have your lover like putty in your arms.

One indicator of spiritual maturity is how we deal with trials. With cogent though jarring eloquence James says,

My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4 NRSV)

There is something in James’s imperative that resonates with any believer who has embarked with enduring perseverance on their trials. Pastoral care can be seen as a coming alongside, much as we imagine the paralete does, where persons we journey with are warned, taught, and ultimately, presented: every person! Colossians 1:28 calls us to evangelise every person, to educate every person, and to edify every person. We are to reach out to everyone, help them know God’s truths, speaking into their lives. We are called to a life not of self-pity, but of self-scrutiny of motive-especially of service.

We can know, in the final analysis, that the example of the cross is our way toward experiencing the resurrection life of Jesus. This embodies our teaching and our example. And, within the cross-beared life, it is also fundamental that the mature are Spirit-filled persons. The mature person will soon be asked to lead if they are not already. Only Spirit-filled people should lead Christ’s church. Hence, being spiritually mature and Spirit-filled ought to be thought of mutually inclusive. And there will be the fruit of love in the Spirit-filled, spiritually mature person; a love that insists not on thinking about love, but on acting in loving ways. There, I find, an elegant yet unsophisticated simplicity in love. There is no wiggle room. The surrendered soul acts simply as God intends. It is obedience without thought. To be presented perfect on the final day is to approach life now so as to enter through the narrow gate of Matthew 7:13-14, now! Acting as if time is up, we strive more for the Kingdom, more and more. Our striving ought to be to the allegiance of Christ and his teaching, of perfection and imitation of the Father, notwithstanding its seeming unattainability.

The Greek teleios aligns perfection with completion with full development, or to be unblemished and whole. And that is God’s will for us all: that the pastoral care we might all benefit from would take us further on the trajectory of discipleship; further, and onward, unto perfection.

There is incredibly great value in living the spiritual life. When we order our private world, we stand to gain the prize of life that God is ever calling us to. The pastoral care function is primary and basic in delivering persons to the deeper experience of the spiritual life. I see that pastoral care and discipleship are interwoven processes aiming toward the end of maturation, where we may all be presented perfect in Christ.

© 2015 S. J. Wickham.